As we approach the end of the year, we are facing many challenges. One being our hectic schedule trying to fit in every Christmas Party known to man! Another one is attempting to complete your goals list that you wrote on January 1st and did nothing about since! And lastly, the gifts, the many many gifts.

Oh and wrapping paper, let’s not forget the wrapping paper!

Did you ever get an amazingly wrapped gift?

Really thick wrapping paper, silk ribbon & a proper card attached? Yes? And then when you opened it you quickly realised that the wrapper was nicer than the gift! The gift itself was a disappointment.

Let the wrapping paper stay in the forefront of your mind for a moment and let’s shift gears.

Implementing your goals for 2019 in the last few weeks and empowering yourself to live your best possible life – is a bit unrealistic at this stage. Fear of the unknown holds us back from making changes. Living a life free of fear, takes courage. In fact, it takes more than courage – it takes tenacity, resilience and a bit of grit! Adopting a fresh attitude towards how you respond to judgement is also very useful.

When we are making changes in our lives, one big change isn’t the cure, it is a million little changes.

Let’s start with the basics.

I would like you to visualise overhauling your life to live YOUR best life for YOU like building a wall. When building our foundations, we must ask ourselves, are we building on sand or cement?

Sand is soft, changes form and is a bit unstable.

Cement is solid, strong, durable and means business.

If we do not have the foundations built in a solid fashion – at some point, the wall will come crashing down.

For me, the main foundation that needs to be put into practice, is self-care. Some people misunderstand what self-care is. Self-care can be having your hair dyed, styled or cut. It can be maintaining your nails, eyebrows or lashes. Perhaps it is makeup, tan or straight white teeth. It can be building upper body muscle (and not skipping leg day!). It can be buying nice clothes or having a massage or spa day with friends. This kind of self-care is needed however this is taking pride in your appearance and treating yourself to a nice short-term experience making you feel better.

We all know people who look amazing all the time, are immaculately turned out and always looks their best, yet are struggling personally or professionally. Maybe they are overcompensating by making sure the wrapper on the package looks well to distract themselves and the world that their life really is falling apart on the inside. They look like the elegant swan gliding on water, yet they are kicking frantically underneath just to stay afloat. 

I know this because I have done it – that was me for many years.

Life isn’t supposed to be lived like this.

Life is supposed to be full of joy, laughter, love, fulfilment, adventure and most of all, peace.

Let me make a clear distinction between external self-care and internal self-care.

Internal self-care is many things but mainly it is taking care of our mind, making sure that our thoughts are not polluting our capacity to make healthy decisions for ourselves. If we want to live our best life, we need to maintain a good relationship with how our mind works and how we can quieten the mind in times of challenge for us to make balanced healthy decisions.

Our minds are spaces for thinking and creating, not for storage. If we carry all of our life experiences at the forefront of our minds, it will very quickly become heavy and crowded! We do this when we have not processed an experience correctly. Then we end up dragging every experience into the present, every day! That is hard work! When we do this, we become a victim to our past, daily.

Instead we could harness our thoughts and become the hero of today.

Dealing with negative experiences correctly is vital. We look back into our past to learn from it, but we don’t stare. Look back, don’t unpack.

I want you to imagine yourself to be a present every day from now on. What kind of present will you be? Really nice wrapping paper that doesn’t match the gift or a bit worn around the edges but amazing on the inside?

So now, on the build up to Christmas, please do take care of your wrapper – but it’s what is on the inside that really makes the difference.

If you need some help with that, do get in touch.